I Don’t Think Photography is My Passion
New understandings have surfaced since our last conversation in May. Half a year has passed and I feel like a different person. Self isolation has held a mirror to my life. It has helped me to see things differently.
“Is this what I want?”
The question I consistently ask myself. I do this thing where I live above my life, constantly evaluating every little move I make. It’s exhausting and prevents me from fully living in the now. I recently turned 24 and as someone who is young I feel like it’s easy to get caught up in how you think things should be. There’s a lot of comparison, distracted by someone else's path instead of focusing on your own.
Refocusing. Dialing into a deeper understanding of my creative process. Understanding the bullshit that keeps me up at night. Seeing things from a different perspective.
These are the things that are floating around my mind at the moment. Let’s dissect these thoughts.
Photography. I am a photographer, but am I really? What makes a photographer a photographer. I’ve been asked countless times what my process is. My usual response is generic and after sitting on that generic response I begin to wonder if I’m even a photographer.
When I go out for a shoot it’s just my camera and I. My equipment consists of 3 basic lenses, a tripod and my phone. It all fits into this small orange camera bag that still manages to stay together after years of adventures. Sometimes I’ll borrow a reflector from Lapita. I’ll edit images on my phone, ipad or computer. That’s it. Nothing special. This is what I mean when I say you don’t need fancy equipment. I’m not interested in the technical details of photography. So when I get asked what my process is my immediate thoughts are, “There’s no special process. I see, I feel and I capture.” Honestly the process is probably deeper than that, but it’s hard to connect those feelings and experiences. Especially since the connection is spiritual and if someone isn’t open to that there will be no direct connection to explain that process.
I've come to the understanding that I may not be a photographer and it probably isn’t my passion. Hold on, don’t worry. Let me explain.
After some inner reflection I believe that I’m a storyteller and storytelling is my passion. I use photography as a tool to share my story. The narrative I choose to share is the connection I have with Mother Earth. Including the connection I have to creativity.
Let’s circle around. “Is this what I want?”
Yes. A million times yes. I absolutely love sharing my story. Even if that means standing alone at times. It’s worth all the bullshit that it comes with. (I want to make an separate blogpost on this topic).
I’m not sure why I need to define my title or why I’m choosing to share this. I’ve spent a great amount of time alone and with that comes thinking. I thought I’d share that process with you all.
Thank you for reading this through. Much love.